A Single Man, Countless Pains IV

Lately, there has been a lot of talk about THE FUTURE. Bum, bum, bummmmmmm. Where I might end up in THE FUTURE. How far away I'm going to be in THE FUTURE. How I'm going to pay for THE FUTURE. How soon before THE FUTURE becomes THE FUTURE. All this talk about it makes the present seem real crappy. Because when I think about what might come I have the luxury of thinking up the best possible outcomes. THE FUTURE looks perfect and amazing because it's all fictional. I can't decide if the present has gotten shittier, or if THE FUTURE has just gotten more exciting. I want to skip the next four months so I can see where I end up. Plus I'm getting sick of all this hot weather. It's muggy and sweaty and nasty. And I'm a little hung over. So I kinda want to sit in a air conditioned building for a nice long while. I'm going to see who wants to see SALT. THE FUTURE can take a break, I want to enjoy the afternoon. And this is another little something from my past, to continue with my July confessional. I think the past is the most honest time. THE FUTURE can be whatever you want it to be, the present can be very distorted, but you can't change the past; it just hangs there like a picture on a wall.


I don’t have….
Big pieces of chocolate cake

Peace of mind
Dependency on food
No effort days

McDonalds
Burger King
Taco Bell
Pizza after eight at night
No worries
Skinny enough waist
Smiley face cookies

An old voicemail message
A memory of the last kiss
Someone to speak to
Enough distractions
A good enough voice
Hair that behaves itself
Lips that don’t chap
Skin that doesn’t crack
Enough memories to run defense
The truth
Big enough sun glasses
Something that smells like you
Time to read
Self esteem
Lots of food
Happiness from mirrors
Movie star looks

A happy mouth
Food with oil
Food with grease
Food with frosting
Food with layers
Food with high fructose corn syrup
Food that is guilty
Enough time to run
A way of killing calories
……..you……..
……….I don’t have………..

…………………………you………………………...



"If it's going to be a world with no time for sentiment, Grant, it's not a world that I want to live in." -George Falconer