You know what I never understood? Rock stars who have great bodies. That was like a complete mystery to me. Members of Avenged Seven Fold, All American Rejects, Breaking Benjamin, Against Me!, and all the others. How do they stay so fit and jacked? Rock stars and work out routines do not go hand in hand, at least not in my head. Rock stars have terrible sleeping habits, even worse dietary habits, and probably the worst drinking habits in the world. And that's not even figuring in the illegal substances. But somehow they end up with Abercrombie and Fitch bodies that are covered with tattoos, scars and bite marks. But still, the muscle definition and sex appeal is totally there. I feel like they don't work as hard as us non-rocker mortals, but still get sex god bodies. Not fair. Even if you like the music, you still get slightly pissed off knowing they get fame, money and a flat stomach, all with what seems like no effort at all. Except my boyfriend Tyson Ritter, he deserves everything and anything he wants. But I bring this up, because it ties into my dating history. I have messed up points of view on the type of body I want my boyfriend, date, significant other, boy I'm sleeping with to have. I flip flop back and forth between wanting a guy who has a body like a model from Elite Model Management and someone who has the body of Paul Rudd. Both are desirable and sexy, but they are mutually exclusive of each other. The first is risky, untrustworthy, unreliable and dangerous. My mantra over the years has slowly become "never trust sexy", and for good reason. A guy deemed "sexy" usually knows it, and has the personality of a slug getting salted. Not to mention they almost always never have to work for their good looks, or only have to work one tenth of how hard the rest of us work. So that's why my dating mantra is what it is. But when you go with a Paul Rudd body type, they also have problems. Insecurities over their own body, strange drinking and eating habits, and they tend to question why I am with them. Due to the fact that I work out and take being fit seriously. So there is no winning. Kind of. What I need is a boy who works just as hard as I do. That way it all balances out. And it could be either an Abercrombie model or a Paul Rudd wannabe, I can get both. Not to brag, but I can get whatever I want really. The problem is, I usually want the wrong thing. But nowadays I have a clearer image of what I want. So I hope it appears soon. But I have decided not to commit to anything, unless it's AMAZING, in the next five months because I want to get the hell out of this city. As soon as I am certified, I'm getting the fuck out of Dodge. Maybe even as soon as December first. Who knows. I'm winging it. What I do know, is my past proves to me time and time again, almost no one I've encountered works as hard I do/did to make it work. I work hard to play my part. To be what the situation calls for, what it needs. I do what I can to be helpful and appreciated. To make sure everything goes easily, without flaw or problem. To make everyone calm and happy and content. I want to move on to my future so that I can remedy this sort of thing. It can be a strain. And sometimes all that working makes me want a break, a vacation, a dessert. So, part three of my July confessional.
You did handstands on my floor
Got impressed before we got through the door
Never knew what you would mean to me
Now you’re gone, done and I clearly see….
You were just Blueberry Pie
Something nice that caught my eye
Delicious, delightful the word “yum” suffices
You were another one of my vices
Always good to end the night with dessert
Never trust your heart because I’m just a flirt
You were just Blueberry-
Who could say no to arms like that
No one passes up a stomach so flat
Why say no when you could scream yes
You weren’t the worst but you weren’t my best…
You were simply Blueberry Pie
A tasty little natural high
"It takes time in the morning for me to become George, time to adjust to what is expected of George and how he is to behave. By the time I have dressed and put the final layer of polish on the now slightly stiff but quite perfect George I know fully what part I'm suppose to play." -George Falconer
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