Right now: Eleven thirty AM on Wednesday afternoon. I had to check my phone to see what the actual day of the week it was. This is, once again, due in part to my third shift tendencies. I have not slept for more then five hours, at one time, since Saturday afternoon. My last five hours session was Tuesday from two in the afternoon to about seven in the evening. What is really making me stay awake right now, besides my to-do list, is the fact that I am wearing skinny jeans, dress socks and a Vogue approved cardigan. Yes, a simple thread count is what is making my brain synapses still fire and my eyelids from completely giving themselves over to gravity and exhaustion. I think that sort of speaks volumes about me as a person. Once upon an afternoon a to-do list would have been fuel enough to keep me going, but lately I require more the a post it, i.e. the clothes. And the body that they are on. Which, is in a form that it has never been in before. Still ribby, but now there are chest muscle type things that give a slight y-shape impression. Also, my upper arms have this constant bulge like quality. And the tummy is sorta ripped, but not fully due to the four AM brownie binges. Work is not conducive to resisting junk food and bakery type edibles. Speaking of work, the adorable electrician apprentice split the back of his jeans this morning, right up the bum. React how you wish to, but I literally thanked God. Out loud. Hopefully not within ear shot. We have talked though. He's very friendly and smilely, which is wildly atypical. And, since I don't have a radar to begin with, I'm driving myself stupid. He may be, or he just might be one of those rare "nice" people. But I could have swore those went extinct the year after payphones did. You never actually meet genuine "nice" people anymore, you just hear stories about them. Like unicorns. And dinosaurs. But he is very corn-fed-grew-up-on-a-farm-in-Iowa-ish; he's very delicate looking, but could probably wrangle a horse into submission so he could nails it's new shoe on.....I have an overly active imagination. I am very tired. I think I've worked out close to five times within the last two and half days. There was training, there was the three miles I ran, there was the weight lifting, there was the physical laborness of work. No wonder. But I've got clothes in the dryer and the washer, so I can't sleep yet. At some point yesterday I was in the shower, and I invented a new song. IT was great. It was about me wanting men to be more like my Teddy Bear, and not like Ken dolls. It was epic. But I don't remember it. The second I got out of the shower reality came back and the song left my head. Sad. I did buy new body wash and body lotion, which can apparently also be used on my face, but I only trust my face to Nivea for the time being. But I stole three honking garbage bags full of empty cans and bottles from work, then returned them at Meijer so I got NAMEBRAND body wash, lotion and face scrub, all of which are made specifically for men. Fantastic. I got the new deep cleansing Dove Men+Care body wash, Vaseline Men Extra Strength and OXY face scrub for men. The face stuff has bits of charcoal in it to suck up the pollutions in my pores. I am thoroughly prepared to experience the sucking. I have yet to use the body wash or the scrub, I still have like two days worth of old dollar store products, but I did use the lotion today. It's very nice. And smells like Daniel Craig. Or, in my mind, what Daniel Craig would smell like. And my skin feels great. So, it's a win win situation. It's AG baby, it's all good! Just like this season of Desperate Housewives, a lot is happening, but it's all good. Unlike seasons three through five, I try to pretend they didn't happen. This one is popping like fireworks, even the extras are good looking and talented. You know what I love, you almost never see the ladies in the same room together, because each one has specific rooms that they look their best in. By now the set decorator, the lighting guy and the make up crew have all be instructed as to how to make the ladies look. So each one has different light to be surrounded by. It's fun to notice things like that. To me at least. I like those ladies, they're cool. Yes I know they are not real, but the situations are close to reality. Makes me want to wrestle the responsibility of being a parent even more. I need a kid of my own, it'll make me a little more grounded. Maybe I should get a puppy first. Or a boyfriend. I remember reading this article in Rolling Stone, the one with Gwen Stefani on the cover, about her and how she couldn't wait to have kids. She said they would save her from her vanity, I kind of relate to that sentence. Having kids, apparently, helps you cut the fat out of your life. Plus Gwen Stefani is completely badass, and I trust her. Can not wait for the new No Doubt cd, or even their next single. Just give me something more, soon please. Alright, I can resist the bed no longer. Caleb, that's what I named my Teddy Bear, needs me. And I him.
ps- Someone at work today saw my belly button while I was standing on top a ladder, and they said it was the most perfect belly button ever. I was both extremely embarrassed and outrageously pleased. hurray belly button
"I imagine my children are going to save me from my vanity and be my passion and fill whatever fears I have of the amazing time I'm having right now being gone." -Gwen Stefani
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