-Simple, Stupid and Sam Sparro

There are many ways to feel stupid, even when you think you are four steps away from genius. A series of events can occur and suddenly you find yourself asking why the door you’re pulling on says push. Stupidity doesn’t always have to do with education and grades; sometimes it’s about the lack of education or the white lies we tell ourselves. Stupid is as stupid does, and sometimes stupid doesn’t think about the amount of calories in a vodka martini or the consequences of consecutive fast food runs or the payments on credit limits. Stupid can take on many forms; mental, verbal and physical. Like thinking you can pull of a mustache the same way Sam Sparro can, or imaging that fashion likes everyone equally. And I’m talking to you Lady Gaga, we can’t all be Carrie Bradshaw. Sometimes stupid is as simple as not knowing what to say, even when you have more then enough words floating around in your head. The real definition of stupid, the epitome of the sensation, is being caught in a moment where the wisdom in your brain can’t quite reach your mouth. Your cerebrum knows the precise wording to better state your knowledge of the situation, but all your tongue does is “bfffffffffff”.

I guess my face has always been a “trusting” one. Which has been both a good and a bad thing. It helps because people never suspect you of lying, you can get discounts at Panera for being cute, and you can smile your way to student discounts when you don’t have your ID with you. The downsides of having this kind of complexion are, never being taken seriously, always being expected to smile and having everybody want to confess to you and tell you their secrets. You would not believe the loads of dirty laundry I could do. The white picket fences in my head are spilling over with everybody’s deep, dark tellings. I don’t mind being able to have the opportunity to be confided in, but I feel dumber then a can of Mayonnaise, being held by George Bush, while he tries to name all the state capitals, when someone tells me something and I have no clue how to respond to it. It’s nice when people want to tell you what is happening with them, it does make you feel privileged and connected, but sometimes the confessional crown they lay on your head is a bit too heavy. There is no real way to get prepared for all the things that happen in life, and there is no real way to prepare yourself for when someone tells you life happened to them.

I suppose sometimes silence is golden, and all it really takes to be helpful is to listen and let a person vent, but a lot of the times there are things that should and need to be said. Unfortunately a lot of the times the words do not come out correctly or miss their intended target. And don’t even get my started on this textversation nonsense. You think it’s hard enough to make yourself understood in person, try doing it through letters on a phone screen. It’s ridiculous. They say that if silence can’t be golden, then you should keep it simple stupid. Which brings up the concept of what to do when you can’t rely on your words; do you give a kiss, offer a hug, or provide a shoulder to cry on? Even when you try to keep things as easy and uncomplicated as possible, they still seem to end up mixed and complicated in twenty one thousand ways. Even when all you want to say is something little. Like, I wannabe next you. Or, I can do it better. Or, I love you. Or, you have sesame chicken stuck in your teeth. No matter how badly you want to say something, and in an educated manner nonetheless, sometimes you just can’t make it happen. I do know this, sometimes all it takes is a little less effort; sometimes all you have to do is push instead of pull.