Casted Hero

When I was younger I did a lot of crazy shit. Most of which was fueled by comic books and hormones. My eagerness to see the world, coupled with the fact that I had a loose grasp on reality, lead me to do some brazen and impulsive things. It is safe to say I spent my free time in very unique ways. I often found myself left at the house alone. And since I was never socially overbooked, or that eager to do what the majority of the people my age were doing, I made my own fun. Which was usually inspired my comic books or super hero mentality. For example, stringing stuffed brown paper bags across the garage ceiling and then acting out fight scenes with cutting knifes from the kitchen drawers, a la that scene from Daredevil where Elektra pretty much does the same thing. I got really good at handling blades, and hiding the mistakes incurred during practice. It’s been awhile, but I still have those skills. Somewhere inside me. Another example is rooftops. I was kinda doing parkour before it became a big thing. If I was the only one home, and it was dark outside, I would find ways to scale the house and enter through windows. Walking along the roof ledge, jumping from one landing to another, jumping to the front yard or backyard. My favorite time for doing this was when there was a full moon, because then the rooftop was lit up and there were shadows everywhere, and it was like being in a Batman comic book. I would slink across the rooftop a la Gotham’s finest. Inspired my both the Bat and the Cat. Still don’t really know how I never broke an ankle or a knee. Or an entire leg. Like I said, I was young. Once I snuck to my dad’s jobsite. And played on all the half built buildings. It was like a super hero training ground. Another time, I went Cat and toilet papered a classmates house. He was having a party, and I wasn’t invited. So, I had the house to myself, and was hopped up on comic books, so I had a little fun. I dressed in black, constructed a mask for myself, slipped on some black gloves and pulled on my boots. I threaded a black belt through the toilet paper rolls so they were around my waist a la utility belt. That way I could run and not have to worry about carrying them. So I ran over to his house, did my mission, and then sprinted home. When I got back, I walked past a full length mirror and paused. I looked fantastic. Head to toe dressed in black, from cat eared cowl to ass kicking boots. The only color was the silver shine from the belt buckle. I would have made Bob Kane proud. So yeh, like I said, I had unique past times. Going running wasn’t just an exercise to me, it was an exercise in crime fighting. Out running the police and/or running to catch up to the criminal. Using the punching bag wasn’t just a work out, it was working out the information I needed from the captured villain. Comic books were like training manuals to me, not just literature or leisure reading. I studied them harder then I studied my math books. I’m still a little jaded about not having been recruited by some agency, team, covenant or vigilante by now. Never got a call from Professor Xavier. Never received an email from Nick Fury. Was never approached by Bruce Wayne. And, worst of all, reality has set in. Now my comic books just sit in a drawer collecting dust. No more adventures, no more missions, no more DC or Marvel inspired fun. Just bills. The closest thing these days is all the comic book movies that are being churned out like candy from a Pez dispenser. One right after the other. Since I was a fan and a loyal follower long before it was the cool thing to do, I always have fun thinking about who should play what part. What character. What persona. What entity. Because comic book characters aren’t just fiction to some of us, for some people they are like distant relatives. The ones you only see at reunions and weddings, but don’t know well enough to just start a conversation with. I have a cousin on my ma’s side like this. Jason. He sort of just exuded cool and comic book heroicness. Anyways. So I have some casting suggestions, some are recasts. But if I ruled the movie world, this is how I’d want it to be:




Mary Louise Parker for Catwoman




Demi Moore for Wonder Woman




Julianne Moore for Poison Ivy




Matthew Bomer for Nightwing




Ellen Pompeo for Batgirl





Jim Caviezel for Batman

Yeh, they're older actors. Yeh, they aren't young, hip, twenty somethings. But Gotham City is not represented by young, immature, babies. Crime fighters, heroes, villains are all older. Mary Louise Parker would be great as Selina Kyle and due justice to the role. Demi Moore looks like a modern day Wonder Woman and is the only real choice in my opinion. Ellen Pompeo would be a good for the supporting role of Batgirl. Julianne Moore looks like she was made for Poison Ivy. Matthew Bomer has the sly look to be Nightwing, but is still serious and dark. And I never liked Christian Bale as Batman. He doesn't make a good Bruce Wayne, he doesn't look the part and his growling voice for Batman is just ridiculous. Jim would make a better fit. Bruce Wayne is old, and beaten up by the city. But still dead sexy and dishy. Jim looks like that; weathered but still handsome. So yeh. That's what I think. And I will go to my grave with the truth about how long it took me to put this post together.