Boys Behaving Badly

Boys are just like little girls when it comes to handling their problems. What was supposed to be a "guys night" among me and the housemates quickly became awkward and filled to the brim with no conversation. The silent treatment ran rampant. And I had nothing to do with it. It's odd when the homo out of six guys is the least dramatic one. Think on that. Boys behave just as badly, just as catty, and just as passive aggressive as girls. They don't share well. They don't communicate well. They don't play nice. They don't forgive. They overreact. They're selfish. And they roll their eyes in ways that would put Regina George to shame. It's enough to make a boy straight. Oh! They also care about fashion just as much as girls, or gays, but it's just a different kind of fashion. Football fashion. Jerseys. They, and I saw this first hand, will TiVo pause the game to check out a teams new jersey design. Then discuss it for several minutes. No joke. Next time I get criticized for commenting on the new stuff at Macys, I'm totally bringing that up and throwing it in their face. See we behave just like girls. We just don't talk about it. Because we don't communicate. Because we don't show emotions. Because we're stupid. Which makes us behave badly. So we end up behaving like little girls.....

I Just Can't

I can't cry. I won't allow it. Sure, I've got some reasons for it. For both the action and the mentality of not allowing it. But that's not important. Tonight, or rather this morning, the important thing is that sometimes we meet people who are cryable. A person who you would openly, freely and deeply cry to. Whether it be their hat, their glasses, the smell of their cardigan, or maybe just their goofy smile. Whatever it is, they have something that makes you deem them cryable. Sometimes I meet a boy who I just want to collapse into and cry on until I fall asleep. And then we can just sit there, with him holding me and me content and exhausted from finally having a boy to cry to. The kicker, and it really is a good one, I promise, is that these boys never know I have deemed them cryable. And I will never tell them. I just can't. So, those who I consider cryable, end up becoming another reason to shed a tear. Maybe that's the kicker...

I dunno

Either way, I'm getting kicked.

Strum It Again Tom Dumont

Christmas in Chicago was lovely. Wish I hadn't had to drive through so much snow to get back up here. I have to admit though, when I turned that corner on the highway and saw the skyline...I sighed. Like when you see an old friend. Or a cute puppy. Or a cute guy. It's great to be back. But it was also great to visit my family. I got a guitar for a present. I'm really excited, it can help with all the songwriting stuff. I just have to learn how to play it first...hmmmm. I'll just google search it. I still need to see Sherlock Holmes. Haven't gotten around to doing that just yet. A certain someone is still down south. And a promise is a promise. I can wait....I'll just strum my guitar.

On Thin Ice

So, obviously, something terrible happened at work today. Some woman was crazy. Some man got angry for no reason. Some child wanted to cry until it got it's way. My break was delayed. My lunch was cut short. The usual. But I don't want to write about that. Here are the three things that happened that are as close to "good" as it gets at my job these days:

First Event- woman tried to sell me her three (ridiculously cute and awesome) little boys today because they were being too enthusiastic about Christmas.
My Reaction- at least you have kids who are energetic and imaginative and adorable. at least you have kids in general.

Second Event- lady complaining that her boyfriend is too hard to shop for
My Reaction- (which should be assumed) at least you have a boy to shop for.

Third Event- i had a really good cheeseburger at lunch
My Reaction- it was really good

Yes, one of the highlights of the day was a good sammich...the word you are looking for is "whoa". And now the housemates want to go ice skating downtown, but I don't think my little, single heart could bare something so blatantly designed for happy couples. It's already on thin ice, has been this whole friggin season, I think that would make me slip and crack up. So...I'm not to sure what I'll be doing tonight.

Ponder Wonder Blunder

Heart Beats, Hard Beats, Heart Fulfilled

Wow wow wow. Last night was killer. So much fun. Met so many new people. Made some friends. Got some free beers. Played cupid to some new found friends of mine. Did stand up comedy. Found out I LOVE Long Island Ice Teas. Oh, and Sex On The Beach. Also delicious. Was gifted a four dollar ugly winter hat by a boy named Matt because it looked better on me and I made sure Ashley went home with him. Got me and the housemates free passes to our local gym, because yes!, I am that amazing. Hugged a drunk brunette girl. Flirted with a hot blonde boy. And sat on Santa's lap. Was tour guide to the restrooms, and made sure everyone had a ride home. Had a conversation with a boy from Alabama, who bought me a beer because I'm the coolest non-gay-gay he has ever met. Did the catwalk down the bar with Nico. Recognized a bar back who use to be a dancer, who use to hit on me while we was dancing. Slid down the street like a penguin. Ran through snowbanks like an idiot. Helped a boy beatbox because I can lay a sick beat. Did you know I could do that? I didn't know I could do that. I'm full of hard beats. Pretended to be a doorman outside one of the bars I was at. Got a zillion hugs. And plenty of drunken heart to drunken heart conversations. I heart my housemates. I heart all my new found friends. I heart this city. And I heart my life.

Oh, and the thirteen hour work day wasn't nearly as bad as predicted. Totally made it through.

I know I don't really do color photos, but you have to appreciate the awesomeness of this ugly hat. For reals.

Heart To Heart

Got sent home early from work today because if I stayed I would have been in overtime hours. Yahtzee!!! Not only does that mean I now have an open evening, but I also can afford to go out and live it up. I had no idea I was so close to forty hours this week, I'm not surprised at all though. My heart beats can be measured in price sales. It's ridiculous. I did have a wonderful heart to heart with a customer who also works retail. I had to bite my tongue to the point of bleeding because a woman at another register was yelling at a coworker of mine. So instead of having to be removed by mall security, I just kept my mouth shut. However I couldn't keep from throwing the clothes at my register around. So then I had to apologize to my customer, which is when she revealed that me and her are part of the same secret society. The Scorned Retail Covenant. She even offered to say something to the bitch customer because she knew I couldn't. She was a real sweetheart. We talked about how all our friends think we are scrooges because we don't like the holidays, but it's impossible to like them when you work retail. You don't countdown until they arrive, you countdown until they are over. I almost undercharged her just because she was so awesome. So having ended my shift with her, and now knowing that I get to have some fun tonight, my night is looking up. Although tomorrow I have thirteen hour day, so that sucks. Yes, thirteen.You read that correctly. Gotta make that money.

Now I'm off to the bar, to hopefully have some more heart to hearts with friends and possibly, cute strangers.

You Are The Most Important

Dear ________,

You are the most important person I have ever met, so please have no patience, mercy or understanding when it comes to me. I have no problem with the fact that you are tapping your finger on my counter, rolling your eyes at my conversation engaging questions, or scoffing when I tell you are bags are not free. You have my sincerest apologies for not having cut down the tree personally so you can throw your on-sale-for-twelve-dollars sweater into it, seriously though, my bad. And how dare I try to brighten your day with friendly chit chat, shame on me, please feel free to stab me in the tongue with one of several pens you keep in your over sized purse. And, while you're at it, throw your credit cards towards me with speeds that could break the sound barrier, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. Oh, and if you are on the phone, please do not hang up on my account, for anything do the opposite. Talk louder and wave me off with your hand when I try to make sure you found everything you were looking for. Oh and whatever you do, please please please, and I can not stress this one enough, do not check the expiration dates on your coupons; obviously we print those numbers just because we have numerical OCD and we get off on that kind of thing.

Sincerely,
The Guy That Rang You Up


I would just like to say that it just isn't the "Me Generation" that are selfish, self absorbed, self centered dodo heads. It's everyone. Young, old, new, retired. Being an asshole is not age nor generation discriminate. Everyone can participate in this movement...and everyone does.

"""So I wrote everything above this line before being requested to go out tonight, everything that follows is post fun-stimulating-entertaining-evening"""

Like I said, I was requested to go out tonight. Try as I might, I can't seem to say no to spending money when I know it's going to equal great conversations, amazing times, and much needed mass amounts of laughing. And tonight was just that. It was especially great because it was with newer friends and tonight was one of those nights when I just needed to be with people I care for and laugh until my tummy hurt, and they made sure that happened. I was called upon my one of my new girlies, to come meet her and her boyfriend and one of her roommates down at Fridays for drinks and dinner. By the way, I could live off of California Club sammichs, edible perfection! So I walked down to meet them and then we went back to her boyfriends apartment and we watched Star Trek. Which has amazing visual effects, and Chris Pine. Once again, edible perfection. And then we just sat on the couch, us four, four over an hour just laughing and talking and bonding. It was just what my fictional doctor ordered for me. Sometimes I was laughing so hard I was crying, other times I almost cried because we were talking so seriously, and sometimes I wanted to cry because I was so happy. Nights like this remind me of what is really important in life. Things get better, for as much as they get worse.

Nice To Meet You

I did most of my Christmas shopping today, cut checks for house bills, and did grocery shopping. I have no money. None. And I just had a payday.


Dear Money,
It was very nice meeting, I hope you enjoyed your stay. I wish you the best of luck in your next venture.

Sincerely,
Me

I'm ready to start auctioning off internal organs on Craigslist just to make ends meet. Yikes. Oh well, what can you do. You just keep running, hoping that you stay ahead of everything chasing you down.

It Would Be So Nice....

Holiday!

It would be so nice.

I don't like the Holidays anymore. It just means that people act dumber, become meaner, and behave even worse then usual. I know I'm at an unfair advantage due to the fact that I'm involved in the retail world, but I think it might be a universal thing. Today was uniquely bad at work because the whole day was a one long sneak attack. I went in this afternoon, on my day off(mistake number one), to change my availability...and somehow I left ten hours later. They cornered me in the back room and told me they needed help, so I said yes(mistake number two). But it wasn't all bad because one of my housemates was also working and I was on register the whole time and I had Panera on my dinner break. So it was delicious. And I found out that the new hires fear me, as they rightly should, because I know everything and am considered management. I yelled at two of them today for not doing anything but standing around, and later that night while I was eating my dinner they came and apologized to me. Is it wrong if I found this almost as delicious as my sammich? Nah, I don't think so. The only downside was that I didn't get to accomplish all the errands I was supposed to get down today, but I made money. So it all balances out. I just really wish sometime soon I have time to actually enjoy this stupid season. I'm getting tired of spinning out on the road, slipping on black ice, putting of with morons on the daily and having dry hands because it's so cold. I need a holiday. A real holiday, preferably one that isn't scheduled around common, nationally recognized holidays. I want my own holiday. And I want a beach. And I want my own beach. And if this guy was there, well, I'd have no complaints.

It would be so nice.

Chat Noir

The mall I work in today had adopt-a-cat tables in the middle of it all afternoon...I can not begin to describe how difficult it was for me to not take one home with me. Of course it would have to be black. I'm partial to all feline friends, but black cats are my blood. They are the most mysterious and alluring animal I've ever encountered. I'm drawn to them. I don't know why, it's long and detailed. I've explained it before, and people get it then, but it doesn't translate very well via words. It's a conversation that merits arm motions and facial expressions. So, basically, an Italian conversation. Speaking of which, I almost had to break a mans knee caps today at work due to the fact that he was being an enormous asshole. He had my manager in tears, and was being so disrespectful that I was about to lean across the check out counter and punch this bastard out. He wasn't even in the right, he was just another idiot who wanted to cheat the system and get his own way and decided that while attempting to do so he would be as obnoxious as possible. I don't care who you are or where you come from, sometimes the only thing that is going to put you in your place is a good ass kicking. Maybe while you are laid out on the floor bleeding you can reconsider your life and your attitude. If there hadn't been small children around or within hearing distance, I would have done it. And I would have gotten away with it. So not only do I get points for not buying a kitten, I also get points for not doing some social justice. Oh! Speaking of that, me and the guys saw "Law Abiding Citizen" at the cheapy theater yesterday, sick movie!!! Awesome and thrilling, makes you sweat in your seat. It was really good. And I liked the message it had. It was friggin good. So after working nine and half hours, and staying late to fix a problem with the drawers, I came home and kicked off my shoes, curled up on the couch and watched old episodes of ALIAS.
In my friggin dreams!
I unloaded the dish washer and then emptied the sink and did the dishes that were sitting in it.
I then cleaned all the counters in the kitchen.
Gathered up all the recycling and took it outside.
Wiped down the table and cleaned it off.
Got the mail.
Took the pup out.
Scrubbed the counters and the stove top.
Took out the garbage and put a new bag in it.
Cleaned up the bathroom.
Created a wall in the bathroom (no other way to really described it)
Hung up a new lamp in the bathroom.
And I still have to shave and shower.
I was hoping to work out....but it looks like I'll do chin ups at the very most.

Or at the very most, keep my chin up. Get it? See what I did there? Eh, eh, kinda funny, right?

...

I need sleep

Where Art Thou Cardio

With my free seven days at the gym up, and several winter blizzards on their way, it seems like my daily cardio activities will have to be put on hold. Which, I fear, will make me go even more insane. I've come to rely on my post-cardio-endorphin rush to help me through my daily activities, and now I don't know what to replace it with. I suppose jumping jacks in the basement could suffice, or perhaps I could find a really big hamster wheel. I can't even take the pup for a walk because the weather, and the pup for that matter, aren't cooperating. I don't like the idea of having to hibernate my work outs, seems so counterproductive. I just spent the last week running, and ellipticaling, and suanaing myself back to my target body and now it seems like it was all for nothing. Sure I'm way more toned and ribby then I was before, and I have more energy and focus then before, and I feel great; but it's all hidden beneath coats and sweaters and I have a sweat breakout so I technically don't even "look" my best. That's the constant battle with working out: making sure your skin cooperates. The cycle goes like this: feel bad about self, work self out, sweat, look better, feel better about self, keep working out, get sweat blemish, feel bad about self, stop work out, feel bad about self....See my point. For now I can just not shave and hide it under some scruffy. I can getaway with that look for a few days. Having pent up energy made me clean my room, and I found all sorts of things I forgot about. That was cool. I caught up on my reading, for a little bit, reading really isn't a cardio replacement activity. Read the city newspaper and decided to try and make "page six" sometime soon-ish. Decided to try and get a job at Macy's, or at least a more high end retail store, because where I'm at now is getting slightly dull. Checked my bank account three times hoping somehow the numbers would go up, but they didn't. Where art thou money-o? Another question that plagueth me so. Remembered how cool Shakespeare can be. How timeless "To Catch A Thief" is. And how yummy Junior Mints are. I also have hardcore sushi cravings, but have refrained due to the severe lack of money. It'll just be that much more satisfying once I can afford some. Now I'm making a mental list of everything I have to do before leaving for work in the morning. First of which is turn on the coffee pot. If I can't count on my endorphins, I'll have to make due with my Maxwell House.

Welcome To Sunnydale...

watch out for the vampires and the monsters. Does anyone remember Buffy? Or the fact that she kind of started the current "vampire craze" that is sweeping across America? She started it, she owned it, and she did it better then anyone else, now or in the future, end of story. The best thing about Buffy was the fact that it wasn't about vampires really, it was about growing up and having to deal with the daily demons and monsters that we have to face. Having to put up with the things that want to suck the life out of us. And having to do battle just to make it to the end of the day. Her high school was on the HellMouth, most of us thought high school was hell. She had strained relationships with her parents, most of us have/had strained relationships with our parents. She knew how to look good, kick ass, and protect who/what she loved. I strive to do that as well. She had a bad habit of falling for the bad guy....I also have that bad habit. The show meant something because it was true to life, sort of; you just have to learn to see the supernatural for the metaphors that they are. Did any of us really have to miss fifth period science to slay a vampire? I think not. But, sometimes we had to miss fourth period math class to make sure our best friend wasn't going suicidal. Did we not do homework because we had to patrol the graveyard and look out for three horned monsters? No, but sometimes we have to cook dinner, instead of typing a useless paper, to make sure our friends know that they are cared for and valued. Some would say that she isn't a good person to look up to, but she stands for good things. A few of the true to life lessons that I got from Buffy: life doesn't go as planned, it's not a screw up if you end up saving someones life, the popular kids are demons, protect what you love, and never stop fighting. Maybe my last name should have been Summers.

I Would've Snuggled...

I would've snuggled on the couch all day with my boyfriend...but certain parts of that sentence are missing. Mainly, the boyfriend part. I did however spend the day on the couch. My morning started with the pup scratching at my door to come and crawl into bed with me because her daddies had to go to work. So since she knows I'm a sucker and will do whatever she wants me to do, she howled until I got out of bed and opened my door for her. She then proceeded to not only crawl on top of my bed and snuggle with me, but she actually nosed her way underneath my covers and took over the my entire mattress. But, like I said, I love her and it really didn't bother me at all. She's too adorable to ever stay mad at. It did however jump start my morning, a little earlier then I would have liked. I needed to sleep off last night a little longer. So I gave the pup my bed and moved my way to the couch. I chose something off the TiVo menu and then fell asleep again. I was woken up when my housemates started to move around the house, and then decided I would spend my day off from work on the couch. I did however walk my skinny ass to the gym...only to be denied. What kind of gym closes at three pm on a Saturday?! Freaks...so I did get some cardio today, just not the kind I wanted. When I got back to the house, I settled again on the couch, soon to be joined by the pup. The house was cold, but the couch and blankets were warm, snow was coming down outside and it would have been perfect had I someone to share the couch with. The pup was a decent stand in though. So now I'm showered and getting dressed to go out, I figure I have to do some kind of social interaction today. Plus the housemates have taken over the couch to play XBox. Not sure how to dress tonight, I think we are walking so I should wear a coat, but I can't pay for coat check. Technically, I can't pay for anything, but someone is paying my cover charges and if I really want a drink I'm sure I can somehow get one without using my monies. They say a smile is a currency understood by all...actually I just made that up, but it sounded good. I had moments like that last night too, when I said something HBO script worthy. I swear, I'm like a writers room think tank packed into a 5'9'' frame. Then again, I might be biased; plus, if I was as witty as I think I am, I'm sure someone cute would have noticed by now.

I Love Gym

Having reviewed my last post and seeing how long and drawn out it is, I'm keeping this one ridiculously brief. I have a one week free membership to a gym that is within walking distance. I started it today. I was on the elliptical machine for about three hours. I love life...post work out. I love gym. Me be there always. Yes please.


Oh! first time in a legit sauna. I know now what baked ziti feels like, yikes!

And---I saw the new Kings of Leon video for the first time, it was playing on the tv...that was built into the elliptical, auhmazing! The cuddly sexy teddy bear in the picture is the lead singer of the very very very talented band.