-Let Me Give You My Card

Did you know that they actually do have cards you can hand out to people, informing them of your romantic interest. For months now I’ve been going on and on about my strong desire to be able to just hand out cards to those whom I find attractive. I was one bored afternoon and a label maker away from actually starting my own business. Think of how convenient it would be to just hand out a card instead of having to waste time with awkward questions and forced smiles. It would be so refreshing to skip the terrible guessing game when you try to figure out if they are interested or not. Sure it might seem a bit formal and slightly unromantic, but maybe it’s time to bring some order back to the full house of dating. People hand out all kinds of business cards. Dog walkers give cards out at the parks. Insurance agents give out cards when they see your smooshed car on the side of the highway. Lawyers give out their cards just to prove they are despicable people, I mean respectable people. So why shouldn’t we be able to hand out cards for romantic business. After all, Love Inc. is the parent company that owns everything else. I did forget to mention that so far these dating cards only seem to be available at clubs and bars, but isn’t that where all the great social trends start. Writing on your hands, paying too much for alcohol, being at a place where everybody knows your name. And don’t act like you didn’t just sing that last part in your head. So for now, the cards are only handed out at the club, but what happens when your hands are full of cards?

I’ve never really spent time or effort in trying to better my poker skills, but yet somehow I can manage my way through an evening of chip throwing, ante upping and raised bets. It’s not that I don’t know how to play the game; it’s just that I never thought it prudent to learn more tricks. I can definitely do more then just bluff my way through a hand, and sometimes I even have a method to my madness. But usually, most of the time, it’s just luck and happenstance. It seems that my poker skills are very, almost in an uncanny nature, similar to my dating skills. Sure I’m always ready to play the game, and I pay attention to what cards are dealt and who is doing the dealing, but I have a hard time trying to form a hand that wins. It’s tricky sometimes to figure out whether to stay or raise, or whether to put down or pick up. You have to consider whether you’ll get a matching pair or end up with nothing. Should you discard in hopes of getting a better hand, or do you just play it safe? Men, and women, are like playing cards; but it is impossible to figure out what will end up winning you the pot, or what will put you in heartbreak debt. Do two hearts have a chance of winning; is there any point in trying to get a full house?

I have learned however that bluffing will get you no where in the dating game, and I have a strong dislike towards those who use that tactic as a way of getting a winning hand. It’s hard enough to try and decide whether to place higher bets or just fold, and nothing is helped when lying comes into the equation. I guess in poker it isn’t called lying, but in relationships it is. There is no bluffing when dating. Alright fine, if you want to omit the fact that you had six fender benders in one year, or not confess that you still can’t spell the word xylowfone, that’s ok. But bluffing, or lying, about how many cards are in your deck or how many hands you still want to deal in your future, that’s not cool. The only response I have to that is: go spade yourself.

So when it comes to dating, and trying to determine whether to go all in, remember these playing tips: you don’t have to play every hand, the chips are going to fall where they may, and there is more to life then simply getting lucky.