
So my iTunes has decided to no longer work on my piece of shit lap top. An error message appears whenever I try to open it up. I have loaded the most recent version three times. Backed up all my music files, wiped it from my hard drive, reloaded the brand new version and still get the same error message. Luckily my iPod can still charge, because a life with out music is barely worth getting out of bed for. I've been very loyal to some YouTube music channels so I have back ground music while I cook. Have you heard the song "Alejandro" from Lady Gaga yet? Friggin beautiful. And I've also been falling in love with the classics from Rosemary Clooney. Who wouldn't want to come to her house? The strange Madonna version from "Swept Away" is entertaining, sort of. The man is gorgeous. I digress. The point is that without iTunes I've sort of had a metaphorical revelation. If you don't have a beat to step to, you walk wrong. When I first came up to this city, I did my best to be well behaved, play nice with everyone, be demure and Midwestern, stay quiet and basically act as "white" as possible. This past weekend everything just changed, I might be surrounded by pleasant Dutch people but I am far from them. So now, I am walking a little closer to my boot-shaped-country roots. Everyone around is slowly adjusting, but they'll get over it. Besides, they got free pizza and cooking out of it, how upset could they be? I am diving into Italian heritage once again with full force. It's just so natural, I talk different now because I don't think my sentence in my head before saying it. I did that for like fourteen years, it's exhausting. I speak freely, when I want to and with out reservations. I sit a little differently, actually taking up space in the room. I made a habit out of being invisible for so long, I'm done with that. I carry myself a little different too, but it's just due to the confidence. And the home made pasta dishes. And the work outs. And the reading. Life has a whole new rhythm: joyfulness, freedom, attitude, passion, heart and Mambo Italiano beats. And of course, Italian Charm. So really nothing has changed, everything just became different...but I think it's all for the best. I'm back to being your Italian boy.

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