This weekend was more of just an extended work week. I put into full shifts at both of my jobs. It was mostly a blur of car travel and customer service, until Sunday evening. One of the guys a live with turned twenty one. I don't think I need to say anymore then that. I was one of the drivers so no drinking for me, but it was fun enough getting to keep track and take care of all of those who were drinking. A few of them apologized for being so crazy and thanked me for watching over them, but I really don't mind that kind of thing. I'm good at it. I excel at it. I like it. I have no problem caring for the people I love. This evening was a really, really good time. But it also made me remember( like I could ever forget?) how much I miss having a guy in my life. I like caring for him. Listening to his day. Cooking for him. Looking out for him. Having a great time with him. Once again, it's something I excel at. I really miss having someone to cuddle up to before going to sleep. Having an empty bed sort of feels like I'm not doing everything I could be doing. I'm good at both my jobs. I'm great at being a friend. I'm crap at school. I'm an above average baker. But I excel at relationships, and not being in one feels like a part of my brain is not getting exercised. Like a big chunk of brain is just empty, vacant. I don't like that feeling. I'm not going to lie, I let the puppy sleep on my bed last night, and it was the best sleep I've had in a long time. Just having a beating heart to fall asleep to. Feeling someone roll over in the night. I miss that. All is not lost though. The temperatures a dropping which means layered clothing, and everyone looks cuter in layers. When done properly. And it means I can live in my black cardigans. Which I look proper in. It'd just be so much nicer if I had a guy who fit properly with me. And we could be proper together. And have a proper relationship....And wear argyle. Ok, obviously I need to go to bed now.
