The Rules of More

Once upon a blog, I wrote about several rules that I wanted to try and live my life by. Well, those for the most part are still in play. But I do want to add some new things I've learned. And I'm going to confess to what I don't really follow any longer. The whole 'only meat from the ocean' bit, yeah, that's not happening. I'm an Italian! Somedays I need a good roast beef. Sometimes the only thing that can keep me from laying down on the highway is stuffed shells in a meat filled red gravy. Now, I am more then aware of the unhealthy side effects of eating meat that is ill prepared and full of preservatives and fillers. And the human body doesn't need to rely on animals as much as the American general public would have you believe. But, sometimes, I just need a fucking burger. Y'know?! Anyways.I still try to avoid fast food in general, and I am very strict about my dessert intake. I have reinvented my fashion more then one time, and when I wrote the first set of rules I was only wearing black, gray, white, and red. That is not the case any longer. Now it's black, gray, and cool colors only. I've also given up on skinny denim and displaying as much as possible. I sorta wrap myself up like a present these days; hiding instead of revealing. I'll leave the skin for the bedroom. I think the biggest downfall is not following my one drink a day rule. I think I'll try to reinstate that one once I'm a father, for now though, I'll meet you at the bar. Which brings me to my first new commandment:

Always make friends with the bartender.

This will get you much farther in life and most likely keep more money in your pocket. In my experience, it pays to have patience while bellying up for booze. Remember that the person on the other side is just making a living and probably would rather be on the other side, like you are, with their own friends. So, for the love of all that is vodka, cut them some slack. Show a smile, use your manners and treat them like an old college friend that your happy to spend time with again. Who knows how to make a double stiff whip and cran, five times, but only charge you for two. You'll be happier, they'll be happier, and your wallet will be happier. Which brings me to new commandment number two:

Make as much money as possible.

I don't care how. I don't care when. I don't care what you have to do to get it. Just. Make. Money. Don't be greedy, don't be cruel; do be eager, and do be ambitious. Like the hyper ambitious material girl herself. Be bold. Be active. Be driven. And be any other adjective that this seasons fragrance industry has chosen to convince you you are. My favorite is from a fictitious beauty creme ad from a Sharon Stone movie, it goes a little something like this: Be more.

I'm trying to be more, are you?


The New Rules:

-say no to fast food
-four desserts a month
-the three date rule
-the first date rule
-the no bullshit rule
-work out everyday, somehow
-keep a calendar, stick to it, follow it
-create a budget, stick to it, follow it
-make your fashion, and stay loyal
-read more
-befriend the bartender
-make as much money as possible


"I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay." -Madonna

I Like My Noodles

I can't stand people who say American Eagle slogans like they are life quotes, or words taken from the Bible or something. I don't like when people use curse words out of context. It's either a verb or an adjective, it can not be both in the same sentence. I don't like people brush up against you at the bar just because they think they're more important. I really don't like being lunged at by the pup. That shit was messed up. We got another dog so I think she is having some trouble adjusting, but I will take the baseball bat to her if it happens again. I do like the amazing veggie sub I just devoured from Mr. Pizza. It's this great little place I can walk to, just a couple blocks over. And it's so reasonably priced I couldn't even talk myself out of spending money two nights in a row. Last night, sixty two dollars, this night only five dollars. It's not even as much as the tip I left. I don't like having dry hands because it's so disgustingly cold outside. I don't like remembering that I have a load of laundry in the dryer when I'm in the middle of typing this thing. Dammit. I'm trying to make and keep mental lists of what I'm really looking for and what I really do like or am drawn to in a mate, in friends, and in conversations. This is another part of the "Personal ReInvention Tour", I'm trying to sift and comb through the materials of my life. If my life was a pot of boiling pasta, I'm trying to pour it through the colander so to eliminate all the hot water. I can't be in hot water anymore. That's another thing I don't like, when the noodles are too skinny and they fall through the colander holes just as the water does. That sucks. I like my noodles to remain where I want them. Obviously, I like cooking. That will never change.

"I always peek in a woman's freezer. The more ice cream, the more it impresses me." -Curtis Stone

Personal ReInvention Tour

So here's what I'm thinking. Changes need to be made. Little things, that will build up over time. It doesn't need to happen all at once. I don't think it would work if it happened like that. This is going to be gradual. This is long term. This is my own reinvention tour. I'm thinking about this next decade. It should be better then the last one. And not just because of credit cards, sex and grown up drinks. These next ten years are going to be what makes or breaks it for the rest of the decades I get. This is when I restructure the past and set out the future. I've got some rules so far.

-say no to fast food
-four desserts a month
-one alcoholic beverage a day, even when going out (this one might be difficult)
-the three date rule
-the first date rule
-the no bullshit rule
-no meat, unless it comes from the ocean
-work out everyday, somehow
-keep a calendar, stick to it, follow it
-create a budget, stick to it, follow it
-make your fashion, and stay loyal
-read more

The list might get added to, not sure yet. I am thinking that I would like to change my look up again. I know, I change my look a lot. Yet another thing me and Madge have in common. Also, me and my mother. I like the idea of picking a looking, a style, and image, and sticking with it forever and ever amen. All the iconic designers did it, and it makes sense. Which is why I like the idea of buzzing my head. It's always so clean and precise and certain. No surprises. No hassles. No issues. That's a big part of the look I want to create and keep for myself. Solid colors. Dark colors. Denim. Black. Grays. Reds. Maybe some white. No writing. I want it all to look sleek. Professional. Sexy Business. Hard edges and pointy corners. Ninety degree angles. Clean cut. Which is why I want to go back to a buzzed head. It's the definition of clean cut. Also, I've seen photographic evidence that the back of my head is thinning out. It's unfortunate. It's pathetic. And yes, it is noticeable. If I saw that photo and did not know it was the back of my head, I would make comments. Rude comments. So considering how it is late at night, and impulse decisions are also on my "do not do" list, I'm simply charging up my clippers and not using them just yet. But my shaggy hair makes me look younger too, and that's a negative. Younger and unkempt. And unreliable. Plus I knew this woman who, for her entire adult life, had a strategic hairstyle to hide the fact that she had hearing aides. I guess I shouldn't make that last sentence past tense, as far as I know she's still alive. Yeh, she's alive. Anyways, the point is: sometimes to look your best, and to have the most confidence and best outlook on life, you have to make some choices. Which is why the clippers lay charging.

Everything is going to take some time, and I know I'm going to have moments of wanting to bash my head into concrete, but I think these and other minor improvements will make a majority style difference. I want to last. I want the next ten years to be greater. And I'm relying on me to take the initiative.

"Better to live one year as a tiger, than a hundred as a sheep." -Madonna Ciccone